Hope

Hope is hard.

I've always danced around hope, unsure of how I really feel about it. Of course, it doesn't really matter how I feel about it....it is what it is.

I'm usually very afraid to actually do it. It is one of the most beautiful words that I know and also one of the scariest. It seems risky and that it has the ability to disappoint and crush. But it is also alluring....can I really believe it to be true? I want to. Can I really hope and not have my heart crushed? Maybe...maybe not. I know that it really does depend on what I'm actually hoping in. I can't hope that every desire I have will be supplied. I can't hope that I will do everything perfectly. I can't hope that my life will be easy or that things will always happen as I'd like to plan them :) ..... But I can hope in the things He has promised (and that He will be there when I dare to hope and it hurts). I can hope that He will continue to break into this world and heal brokenness. I can hope in the work of Christ to redeem and change people. I can hope in the sufficiency of the gospel to work (in my life and in others).

These things I do know, because scripture says so:

Hope is something that He calls us to ("....that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you", Eph 1:18), that is substantial ("....because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the savior of all people", 1 Tim), and that requires faith and patience ("...For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." Rom 8).

I want to be brave and boldly hope.

Homecoming

What a full couple of weeks....

We had a wonderful time with my family at the beach last week. At beautiful Rosemary Beach with my parents, sister and her family. It's always a little hard for me to transition back to life in Nashville after time away; I need at least a day or two :) . Especially after saying goodbye to my family who all live in Jackson now and would still be together after we'd left. Every time that I come home and I want to hole up and stay in my house, the Lord nudges me out, into my community, into life again, and I remember why we're here. It began with our church service on Sunday; sweet worship and exposition of the Word and a refreshed love for that place, its people and its purpose and its Savior. And a challenging leader's meeting last night....with such good teaching on discipleship....much to ponder over now.

Then visiting today (on the phone and in person) with some of my dearest, longest friends who know me well and accept me. And finally, several hours at Crema with my husband.....who just finished his first day of orientation at Vandy Divinity School!! Visiting with the steady stream of friends who came through, getting all of the details about his first day, testing his patience with my steady stream of chatter :) (hoping that writing this blog post will curb that for a few minutes!).

And to top off the day.....I had time to make dinner for Eric. Small thing, but something I want to be able to do more often...so thankful for days such as these....

No Fear

Maybe I should wait to write these posts after I've had some time to read...much more to process and share then!

I'm reading about the fear of man and how to overcome that, since every one of us struggles with this in some way. I often find that the voices of people in my life are louder than what God, through scripture, says about me.

I'll share the paragraph that really struck me (substituting "I" in there):

"But I must believe. I must believe in the words of Christ more than I believe in anything else. I must follow the principle: For every one look at myself I must take ten looks at Jesus (which our pastor often reminds us). I must meditate on these loving promises from the mouth of God. If I think that I am beyond grace, I should be corrected. Such thinking is based on the unbiblical assumption that our works can either keep us away from God or move us toward Him. It is a denial of grace itself. It suggests that there is some righteous act I must perform in order to meet God halfway. This, however, has nothing to do with the gospel of Jesus. The gospel is only available to people who know they are unclean........Only persistent meditation on the cross of Christ is sufficient to allay my fears."

--Ed Welch

Good words.....Lord, help my unbelief.

Perspective

Today's joy:

Crema coffee shop with the best mocha in town. Pumpkin chocolate chip muffin. Journal and Bible and books nearby. Freshly straightened hair (that I'll never be able to repeat!). View of the rolling Nashville hills in the distance. Steady stream of cars over the gateway bridge. Breeze through the mimosa tree across the street. Week at the beach with my family ahead. Remembering a weekend of celebrating the birth of my best friend. Glimpse of the steeple of the church where we got married. Our neighborhood across the river that holds so many things that I love: my husband working hard on his latest project, our home, our precious community of friends and neighbors, a place where the gospel is breaking in ....

Enjoying every second of my day off ..... thankful every week for Tuesdays when "weekend Mandy" emerges .... for time to visit with friends, to be productive or to be still. Such a gift.